Observing Elimination of Violence against Women and Girls Day in Bhutan

Today I had one of the best weekdays in this month.  Around 8am, I joined the nationwide walk to observe Elimination of Violence Against Women Day in Bhutan as well as around the globe. According to UN’s theme, “Orange the World: End Violence Against Women and Girls,” I too dressed up in orange color and joined orange campaign. I felt good to meet my high school friends during the approximately 3 hours walk.

To say few words about women and girls in Bhutan on this day, I would say that our women and girls are very fortunate to be born as women and girls in Bhutan. It is because though we do have existence of gender discrimination and violence in our country, it is not as severe as those gender violence and discrimination that exist in the countries outside of our country. However, by saying that we should not stop working on rules and regulations, awareness programs, education system and laws which promote gender equality and narrows the gap between male and female. This day is not just for women and girls. It should be observed by all the people because women and girls’ problem is society’s problem. It is a day for us to thank those people who contributed towards ensuring gender equality and equity. It is a day for us to show our support for our women and girls. 

  If mothers have faced any kind of violence, be it physical, sexual or economic, she should share it with her sons. So that he treat his sisters, girlfriends and wife differently. Women and girls should not hide the violence and discrimination they face, be it in their working environment or at home.  Government should ensure an environment in which women get equal access to education, job, health and any kind of opportunities that help women to be independent and successful. Men should treat women with respect and care and never undermine women based on their gender. Teacher should teach their students about the importance of equal representation of men and women in terms of building our nation and making it happier, healthier and greener.  

Unrequited Love

There was bright sunlight outside. The birds were chirping and a teacher in the next classroom was teaching Biology. All the students in our class were busy talking and doing some work. I was just flipping through the English text book when Tshomo whispered, “Hey Yangki! Did you notice a boy sitting in the third table in our row? I mean, did you notice him always staring at us. I am not sure whether or not he is staring at us, but I noticed him, from the corner of my eyes, always looking straight to us.”  “What are you saying? Which boy?” I looked behind and there I saw you for the first time. I might have seen you before this moment, but I had never seen you in that way. You didn’t notice me looking at you. You looked lost. Your eyes staring at the wall clock hung above the green board. Your pink lips tightened. Your one hand was holding your glowing-face and the other one on the table. I felt something cold running down my body. “Yangki, what happened?” “Nothing, mmm I was just looking behind. You know mmm Let’s go out.”  Tshomo noticed my blushed face, but she didn’t say anything. For a moment she just looked into my eyes as if she has seen a diamond.  Even if she asked, I wouldn’t have had the answer. All I could have said was “I felt cold.”

No sooner you looked at him, your face became as red as a ripened apple, you ran out of words while answering me and your body temperature changed suddenly. I know you are telling a lie to me because I already saw the truth in your eyes. For more than seven years I have seen truthfulness of your words in your eyes whenever we had conversations. Your eyes have always shown as a secret password for me to know the truth. Your eyes have always showed a cleared path to the transparency of your heart, as they did today. Though you lied to me, I am not hurt as I know you need some time to figure out your feelings towards him. However, I’ll be hurt if you don’t share it with me before it’s too late. I just want to deter you from defining your feelings towards him as love because I know it’s not love. It’s just an infatuation, a temporary distraction that will bring deception and disappointment in your life and thereafter you will blame me for drawing your attention towards him. To protect you as well as our friendship, I want to talk with you about it by hook or by crook. However, I don’t want you to feel as if I am ruling your life. Thus, I waited for you to begin first but you never did.

            Most of the time, you walked alone. During break hours and free periods, you either went to hostel or sleep in the classroom. My eyes always followed you. I started to love each and every attribute of yours. Whenever I entered our classroom, I looked at you first. In my quiet complicated way, I continued to observe you. However, you never seemed to notice me. In fact you didn’t seem to have any crushes or interest in girls. You hardly talk with girls. I never knew how people fall in love, but by the time I come to know about it, I was already in love with you. I spoke to no one about my feelings not even to Tshomo instead I waited for you to sense my feeling towards you and talk to me first. I waited for Tshomo to see the changes in me and ask me the reason behind it. However, a year has come to an end and neither of you asked me about my feelings. I begin to lose faith in both of you. I stopped believing in what I used to believe about one’s closest people understanding one’s feelings. I feel like I lost both of you forever.

I felt as if I was on the top of the world when you gave a close look at me for the first time. Your look was so powerful that I couldn’t look back into your eyes at that moment. I just pretended as if I was counting down minutes for the bell to ring. I saw changes in your complexion`. I sensed you feeling cold and I heard your heart beats beating faster than usual. You finally reciprocated my love with your one loving glance. However, I am sorry that I have turned my deaf ears to your feelings. I am sorry for pretending as if I didn’t know anything. I know your eyes always long to see me as I have always seen your soul through your eyes. I have looked into many girls’ eyes but I could never see their souls as I have seen yours. This may be because you love me as much as I love you. In your absence, my heart didn’t beat as fast as it used to beat in your presence. I wanted to share my feelings towards you and hold your hands from the day that I met you. However, sometimes things don’t go the way we want. I can’t even tell you the reason for being such a cold hearted boy. All I could do is wait for you to approach first so that I could at least say sorry and clear your path forever.

Happy One Month Anniversary on the New Job at DHI

It was exactly 30 days ago, on 20th October 2015, I joined Druk Holding Investments (DHI) as a New Executive Secretary to CEO. I was excited but at the same time bit nervous that time. Thank god that I got a friend, Dorji Wangdi, who also joined on the same day as New Executive Secretary to Chariman. I still remember the funny incident that took place on our first day. “Oi what do we have to carry?” asked Dorji Wangdi to me, a night before our first day at work. “Just bring a Khadar, white scarf, to put on your office chair,” I replied. And we decided to report to our office by 8:50am. 

I saw Dorji Wangdi waiting for me outside DHI gate when my sister came to drop me in the morning around 8:40am.Both of us walked inside the DHI gate on 20^th October 2015, which is considered a very good day according to Bhutanese Zakar, as a regular employees. I dont know whether he prayed but I prayed for our success, happiness and prosperity as we walked in. We saw people busy chatting in groups and some carrying Khadars in their hands while some were busy searching for one. As soon as HR sir saw us, he asked “Did you two bring Khadars?” “Yes, we did,” we replied. “Very good, today New Finance Dircetor is joining DHI, so we kept a modest reception and tendrel ceremony for her. You can also join us….” HR sir added. We just nodded in reply.

Then, around 10 am, the Tendrel ceremony started. We all DHI members went in new Director’s office one by one and offered our khadars. Dorji and I, while eating Desi and drinking Suja looked at each other and laughed out loud thinking about our Khadars. We weren't really upset for having no one wish us with khadars but we jokingly teased  each other saying something like "a day will come when we will also be welcomed like the way we just welcomed our new Director." Then, surprisingly, my sister brought khadars for us as well. She actually came to congrulate our New Director since they are good friends. However, she congratulated me and Dorji as well with khadars and good wishes. I don’t know what Dorji felt that time but I got really touched. THANK YOU Sister. You made my day!

After the tendrel, HR sir showed me my temporary office which is located nearby Dr. Damber’s office. HR sir informed me that I have to shift my office to the next building once new CEO of DHI is appointed. I got to know few people on first day itself and I promised to myself to work on knowing all the DHI staff as soon as possible.

During lunch time, Dorji and I decided to go out for lunch. We figured out that some of the DHI staff bring pack lunch while some of them go home for lunch. Dorji and I also decided to bring pack lunch from next day onwards. “I wish today is the 30^th Day since we joined DHI” said Dorji Wangdi while we were walking towards DHI office after our lunch. “Look, it will come soon.. don’t worry” I replied. He didn’t give much explanations for he knows that I understand it .

And today, after 30 days, we went out for lunch together. “Do you know what day is today?” I asked to Dorji as we were walking towards the canteen. “November 20 tae” he replied. I waited for him to realize it but he didn’t. “Do you know on which day we joined DHI?” I continued. “October 20….(he paused) ohhhh! ONE month huh??” he said with a smiley face. “See I told you your wish will come true and when it did, you didn’t even know,” I said.

Actually, I myself got so surprise noticing how fast the time went. One MONTH at DHI and within a month I come to know a lot of people. We started eating lunch together with other DHI staff. We always go for walk in group after the lunch and during the short walk we always have hot discussion on topics related to politics, religion, current affairs and stories. Through such interaction, I got close with some of them and I am still getting to know some of them. Moreover, I got quite clear idea about my roles and responsibilities and yes, I got shifted to my office.

Today I am just sitting down in my new office and reflecting on the past 30 days with a smiley face and happy heart. I am thinking of everyone who have made me who I am and feeling thankful towards them. I am happy to be here. And I wish may my days at DHI continue to go as the way has been going since the day I joined. I hope Dorji is feeling the same J.

Happy One Month Anniversary on the New Job at DHI to us, Dorji Wangdi and Dorji Om.

Now, I am excitedly looking forward for my new Boss’s arrival. …

Condolence- With Prayers and Heartfelt Sympathy

Today, you must be going through a very hard time.

And the sad thing is I cannot even call you and talk to you.

I wanted to dial your number right away and talk to you the moment I heard about it.

However, I could not because I would be doing that just to ease my own pain.

I am sorry as I could not be there for you though I consider myself as a good friend of yours.

How I wish to see you right now and spend some time with you, away from everything.

But I know that won’t help you much. And I know that at this moment, although you wish to be alone, you must be busy dealing with rituals and traditions.

Be strong my friend! It is just the time that differs. Otherwise, we all have to go through the same path.  

My prayers and wishes… /\

To Hazera

After about 25minutes of “YOU and I, You and I, BUT and Because,” Saika said, “You are not understanding Om. I was sick, last whole night, and you didn’t even notice it.” “What on earth told you that I have an inborn talent to read other people’s faces especially when I am angry?” was my reply. (We had a small misunderstanding because of which we didn’t talk for one day and one night.) Now, Saika wants me to forget it which I already did but at the same time she wants me to act “normal” right away and go for dinner with her, which I didn’t agree. I wanted some time on my own, may be god knows for what reason, but she didn’t understand it. So she left the room saying I am not understanding her.  And then surprisingly, I found myself typing. Weird isn’t it? Well, this is what I wrote.

I wanted to finish my final year in AUW with you in a very special way. By saying that, I didn’t mean we have spent sad or bad times together, up until now. We already have spent lots of quality time together that will make me miss my college days very badly in the near future. To describe our closeness, even people around us are wondering whether we are “lesbians”, as if lesbians do not get fed up with each other and go for new partners (Lol).

I had this stupid feeling just before the beginning of 2015. I don’t know what is so special in the word ‘final’ that makes almost all people, somehow, become so emotional. FINAL YEAR, which means final 9 months with you in AUW. With mixture of feelings, excitement for the graduation day and pain for the departure day, I ended up making some Dos and Don’ts plan in my mind which are all related with us.

And here come some of them,

I didn’t want to show my temper the way I showed in the last four years.

I didn’t want to pick a fight with you just because of some stupid reasons which might seem like a political fight at that moment.

I wanted to make everyday very memorable and special so that we can get the double share of happiness and peace compared to that of the last four years.

Thus, I made so many plans and promises to myself just before the beginning of 2015. However, somehow, I figured out that so many things are going just in opposite ways. Then, I thought I will try to follow those plans during our last semester together. Then, again I excitedly waited for the final semester to begin.

Ha ha!! What to say? Final semester is already going on and about my plans, I would say that it was just like daydreaming or expecting a frog to climb a tree. I have realized that we have quarreled and argued with each other so many times this year. In fact, I think we kept all our fighting shares of last four years just for this year. I even got surprised at my own temper at some point. I was so mad at you as well as at myself for letting such things happen.

But, I am no longer angry or upset with you. I don’t regret for all the fights and silly arguments I had with you. Do you feel the same? Do you know why??

After the last fight we had, in fact the longest fight we ever had. I felt nothing. My anger was not there. I felt empty but in a good way. When I found myself just sitting and feeling the usual friendly atmosphere, I was like, “WTF, I am supposed to feel so bad and mad right now. What is happening with me?” And at that right moment, something from inside said, “yes, I just got my best friend.” Of course, I have considered you as my best friend since the day we have decided to eat, stay and talk all the time with each other for the rest of the university life. I have enjoyed all happiness that we have shared. However, seriously, I never knew that even fighting with you, showing my all temper, can cause no harm to our friendship. What did you just do with me that I even feel so comfortable while showing my anger at you, keep aside the rest?

Lately, I have been thinking most of the time about why philosopher have spend so many years arguing, debating and studying about concepts like ‘Beauty’ and ‘aesthetics’ and finally I think I got the answer. I remember, my Professor once said in the class that aesthetic experience occurs when we have disinterest attitude, which means the person no longer cares about his or her own personal interest while experiencing that particular feeling. I am not sure how far I have understood the lecture correctly but I started relating it to our friendship bond. If I had cared a bit about the fear of ending our best friend relationship then I would have never let those silly fights to happen in between us at the very first place. However, I would say feeling different kinds of emotions are human nature but feeling true Beauty of all these emotions is rare. Just like teachers keep the harder lessons for the upper level courses, I think both of us have kept our hot tempers for the final semester. So that, by the time we get to see ‘angry bird,’ we already find ourselves appreciating the Beauty of the bird, which leaves no option for the emotions to cause any effects on our appreciation for the Beauty of the bird.

At some point both of us have accepted that we are met to depart but I have also known that be it last few days with you or beginning first few days with you, we will go with the same phase, that we have been going with, for the last few years. After all, we lived our lives to the fullest in all those gone years, we treasure all those memories, and we value all those gone year pictures together more than the recent ones. This brings the question, “why to make the final semester more special then?”

So now, let me conclude by rephrasing my first line, “I am spending my final semester in AUW by living everyday just the way we have been living but appreciating it in an aesthetic way this time (:P). It simply means I detach myself from judging all the emotional feelings that I go through with you and just appreciate the Beauty of our friendship. There can be more fights and arguments waiting for us in these coming days which means this is the not the end or beginning of our fights but no preparations needed to face it. I am already in love with our friendship. Yes, Hazera, you are my best-est friend J.

                                                With Love,
                                                                     Om

                         

Let's be Better Children for our Parents

Tring Tring…..“What are you doing?” asked my mom. “What will a person do in a office?... of course working” I replied jokingly. “Why did you call me?” I continued. “Just like that…” she replied after a pause and she hung up the phone.  My mom and I just talked in the morning.

So, I wondered why did she call me??….why parents keep worrying about us???

After the office, when I was waiting for my friend’s car, I saw a mother scolding her son who is fully dressed up in so called punk fashion. I don’t know why she was scolding him and what she told him but I heard the boy shouting, “You don’t know anything about 21^st century since you are a person made in 20^th century. So don’t teach me what is right and what is wrong.” He walked away after saying it but I saw his mother staring at him, without even blinking once, until he disappeared from her sight.

                   I wondered what she was thinking???…. Why parents scold their children even when they know that their children mostly turn on their deaf ears???

When we are just kids, most of us remember the message contained in our parents’ scolds and forget the angry tones and expressions used by them. When we are kids, we are happy with the decisions made by them for us, the food cooked by them and the cloths and gifts bought by them for us. Conflicts seem to grow when we grow up. Time comes when some of us start comparing our parents with our friends’ parents. Some of us start observing their angry tones and expressions more than the messages contained in their scolds. Some of us start seeing happiness and enjoyment outside our home thereby coming up with different reasons to stay outside.

We grow up and so does our roles and responsibilities. We do have rights over our own life but we do have responsibility not to hurt the ones who made us what we are now. We should start thanking people around us, for coming to our life and playing some roles, be it small or big. Of course, we should live, laugh and love throughout our growing stages. However, as we grow older, let’s make sure not to forget that our parents are growing old. Let’s us realize together that our thoughts and feelings for them might change as we grow up but their feelings and love for us remains the same. They might scold us when we are with them and they might call us more than five times in a day when we are far. It might seem annoying since we aren’t kids anymore. However, let us together understand that only the ones, who truly love and care about us will never give a second thought while speaking the bitter truth or while calling us several times. Let us together understand the hidden messages after their every “annoying” actions. Hidden messages like –they call us now and then just to make sure that we are safe or just to say that we are being missed.

We should never forget that our parents never expect us to praise them or acknowledge their love and care towards us. So, when you do something good for your parents and if they don’t notice it, don’t feel bad. Instead, let us together realize that our parents have wholeheartedly accepted all our mistakes throughout our childhood days and kept forgiving us and correcting us. Therefore, let’s together be kind enough to correct them and forgive them as we grow up and they grow old.

We might be away from them or we might not get enough time to spend with them depending upon our situation. However, let us together make sure to hear their voices when we are far from them. Simple acts like calling our parents early in the morning before we begin our day or calling them at night before we call off our day can buy us unlimited happiness for our parents. Or just taking small gifts, if not just a smiley face of ours, with us while we are going home can add peace and happiness to our parent’s lives.

Let us make sure to look up from our mobile screens and talk with them when we are with them. Let us together notice one common thing in our parents and that is,  just like the way we feel happy when we get their attentions as we  grow up, they too enjoy gaining our attention as they grow old. Therefore, let us together pay attention towards our time for our parents and make best use of it. Our parents took every opportunity to make us feel their love, similarly, we should make best use of every time to express our respect, love and care for them.

We know that our parents never expect us to kill our happiness for their happiness. They will never curse us even if we fail to live up to their expectation or hurt them mercilessly. They might throw some harsh words at us, which might hit us so hard and take eons of time to digest. However, deep down, we, children, know that when it comes to their intention and love for us, it’s always pure and unconditional. Our parents have welcomed us warm heartedly on this earth, prays every day for our good health, happiness and success. And they even wish for their own death before seeing our death. Therefore, though we have right over our life to live it our way. Let us together promise to give a second thought when it comes to taking it away.

As time goes by, we get expose to cultures and living standards that weren’t present when our parents were at our stage. Therefore, we should not assume our parents to understand it and we should not change our tone while explaining to them. Free yourself and ease them by saying “sorry” if you end up conversation with them in harsh tones. 

To make it simple for Us, children, to understand. I would say that let us try to be the reason behind their smiles. If not, then let’s, at least, make sure not to be the reason behind their unhappiness, sleepless nights and tears. Let us try to reciprocate our parents love and care by showing them love, care and respect every day as we grow up and they grow old. If not, then let us together make sure that we live happy lives. It is because our parents got such big hearts that they will live their lives happily just by seeing us happy.